i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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