Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize