I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just want nice things and good sex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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