textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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