They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
