Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So much Jack, so little girl.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
