There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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