so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i now understand why vodka
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
