3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
