we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My penis needs a shock collar
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
