I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
