dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Buhtt sex?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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