My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
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I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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