I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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