As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
