i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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