so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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