toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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