There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
