Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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