we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
