They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...