he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
