So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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