that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize