Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
