It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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