just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
