I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
well you can't waste a boner
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
