I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
