also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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