He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize