Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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