I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
