i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
