I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
