physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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