god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
