sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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