It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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