what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
