I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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