yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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