You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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