drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize