i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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