i think my mom watched the whole time
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
