i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
