id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize