ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
