fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
