I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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