And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i think i just lost a toe
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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