Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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